No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
