so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Holy shit dude........stairs
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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