i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
