I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
