make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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