Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the condom got lost in my hair
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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