Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up under a house in Key West
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
