I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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