Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
