yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I am available for nakedness
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
