i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
