What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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