Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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