Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize