She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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