please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think your dad took our porno
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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