we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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