Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize