Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize