i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
