We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
