She is in my trunk
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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