It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
