I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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