dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize