I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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