I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
