I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
