What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
