That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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