is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
