She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
