Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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