We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
