If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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