i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
