I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
