If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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