You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
