too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Every concussion has its silver lining
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Everyone says I win the strip club
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