Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
