she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
