very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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