I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I want is dick and wine.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
