are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
