why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
