he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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