I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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