It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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