Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
