Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
