i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
