...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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