why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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