sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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