A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
