i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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