I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
