Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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