I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Randomize
