it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
