And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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