her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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