did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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