We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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