happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
